fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
