so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
do nipples grow back?
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