Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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