wat bout pragnant strippers??
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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