if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
