Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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