I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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