youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
