I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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