Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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