i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
