Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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