everyone is single if you try hard enough
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
