I am in a vortex of obligation.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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