I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize