I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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