Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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