She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
