I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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