those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
