I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
