you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
