who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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