This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
