the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
