I cannot find my penis.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I touched a dick in church today
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
