Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize