Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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