Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize