apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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