Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
