Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
