I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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