I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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