hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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