good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
