I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
