Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How does it feel to date your dad?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
