People in love make me want to vomit
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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