Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
