I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
