I puked a lego.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
