addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
