i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
