I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
