If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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