i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
