2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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