we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
