remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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