well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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