we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
