these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
