I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
