Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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