I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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