Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sober January is a disaster.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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